


Sparire – to vanish, to die away.

by Voic3_l3ss



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/M, M/M, No Such Thing As A Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2018-02-15 20:34:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2242671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voic3_l3ss/pseuds/Voic3_l3ss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set two or so years after defeating Gaia. Reunion time is not all that it's craked up to be, but it rudely cracks the withdrawing shell of our favorite Ghost King and sends him down a path that allows him to leave his life behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sparire – to vanish, to die away.

Life’s not entirely fair. Some things have evened out, in the long run. A lot of that was thanks to my friend and personal hero, Percy Jackson. He was a child of prophecy, born to make a world of difference at the tender age of sixteen. That could have easily been me, my sister, or Thalia. He took that on. With lots of help he made the future possible for all of the demi-gods at Camp Half-Blood and at Camp Jupiter.

Even though there are many available options for living as a demi-god not much has changed where I sit. The warmth of the home hearth is always open, but the darkness that follows is nothing I wish to bring upon such a happy place.

Hidden away among the dead, except for when the people that I cared about (that happened to remain among the living) were in dire need of me. My half-sister is the worst and best thing about the world. Hazel Levesque is the only reason that my skin has any pigment aside from that pale green tinge from Tartarus.

She summons me for little things like they’re life and death situations—the upcoming war games, her and Frank’s anniversary, my birthday. Long story. _Ahem._

_Speak of the demigod_... A rainbow obscures my peripheral and suddenly there’s a face before me. Behind her I glimpse the overly-bulky form of her Ares blessed boyfriend. I hear the boisterous noises of those heroes from the Prophecy of Seven and that weight in my chest crushes my organs. Hazel’s lips quirk like she knows that I will be unable to refuse her. I scowl and cross my arms. Mentally readying my vain refusal.

“Nico, you have to come. We’re celebrating the defeat of Gaea! It’ll be just us, on the Argo II. Come back to the mortal world for a night.” Her face is more demanding than imploring.

“I’m busy Hazel.” Hoarse and tired.

“No, you’re not. You’re coming right now.” She ends the message there and I’m sorely tempted to let her be disappointed. I scowl even harder as I move through the shadows and appear on the deck of the Argo II.

Leo’s built a masterpiece. As broken as she was after subduing the goddess Gaea and her army of giants I am not surprised that she’s whole again. Between heartbreak girl and this ship I wondered who he was more devoted to.

The moonlight from the waning moon casts lonely light on the railing and sails. The empty crow’s nest draws my eyes, the place I haunted while I lead the others to the Doors of Death. I pull the shadows closer and am almost gone before I hear a call. “Nico! Come down here!” Hazel sounds so happy there is no chance to escape. Begrudging steps lead the way down to the hull and the scent and atmosphere contained below welcomes and repels me.

Piper is sitting at the table, smiling at something Leo’s said. Jason is naturally at her side and he meets my gaze without fear. The son of Jupiter is much more at home among the demigods of Camp Half-blood then I am. I manage a nod and he smiles at me. Hazel tells me to sit beside her. Seeing who is on the other side I can barely get myself to move. My body moves woodenly, I’m a marionette and my sister’s whim is pulling the strings.

My body is aflame with awareness that I know I can’t shake. The conversations didn’t stop when I’d come, but when I sat immediately Jason had to speak.

“How’ve you been Nico?” That demigod didn’t know when to quit. He was hell bent on making a friend out of me.

“Well.” It was a mixture of challenge and dismissal.

“You’ve missed out on a lot.” He didn’t sound put out at all. Obviously I had to be more than the son of Hades and outright unfriendly. I didn’t have to worry about anyone here anymore. They weren’t due to be taking up any more quests. Their world had earned a respite.

“That’s true Nico.” The voice was enough to make my world stand still. Without meaning to I turned my head and saw him. Annabeth. As though I hadn’t known immediately where they were. “We’ve been sort of smoothing the peace along. Negotiating an exchange program that doesn’t require memory wiping. I think Mrs. O’Leary misses you.” The words tumbled out of his mouth, if I hadn’t known any better I’d say he sounded nervous.

Annabeth’s arm shifted and I saw Percy’s pulse slow in his neck. She must have moved to hold his hand. I nodded again, mute. My sister pressed a cool sphere against my hand. A pomegranate. I lightly bit my lip to keep my “creepy” smile from my face. After surviving on the seeds of this fruit while I was trapped in a jar you’d think that it would be the last thing I wanted to eat. Since my time in Tartarus, an even longer story, it’s one of the few things my stomach can stand. When I spoke about it to my sister she said it was probably because it comforted me.

Annabeth smiled warmly at me, although I could sense the vague unease that most people get around me. I’d inherited the powers of death that my father controlled. No living person would ever be completely at ease around me. Except my siblings. I must have missed what she said, because the next expression she displayed was mildly concerned and amused.

“Hm?” Everybody laughed good-naturedly though I felt a bit miffed. Percy spoke up.

“Well, let’s get this party started!” Like that it was on. Leo hit a button on his Wii remote and music blared from the speakers and a light show started. They ate the small feast that was on the table and talked loudly about their lives. After I ate about five seeds I’d had enough. It may sound funny coming from a guy who spends all his time underground but I needed air.

A small smile spread across my lips and I caught my sister’s eye. She understood and turned to Frank to tell him that we were going to go outside. He made a move to stand and was stilled by her touch. She shushed him and told him to stay and enjoy his food. They’d been waiting for me it seems, and he hadn’t eaten all day.

“You used to be able to sit with everyone just fine.” No preamble. “Nico, what happened after we closed the Doors of Death?” Panic clawed at my insides and shadows danced over my vision. We’d moved to the bow and I had the railing in a death grip. I felt her gaze on me trying to will my secrets into the light.

“It’s just the way I am Hazel.” It sounded like a lie to me too.

“No, it’s not.” She was so sure, hard to believe that we hadn’t known each other at all little over 3 years ago. “Nico di Angelo.”

It was a tone of voice I’d not even heard from my own mother. My “little” sister had a lot of cheek.

“Hazel Levesque.” I mocked, a presumably creepy smile broke my blank expression.

“I want you to stay.”

I turned away from her and stared out into the night sky. The scattering of constellations and far away suns proved an interesting enough distraction. I stubbornly tried to recall all the names of the stars in silence. I’ve already made up my mind.

“Nico, Hazel. What’s up?” Just like that everything else is gone. This had to stop. We both turned away from the stars and turned to the brightest creature on this Earth. He’s sounded unsure and cautious.

Hazel let loose an exasperated sigh. “Nico wants to live in the underworld full-time. Be the Ghost king for the rest of his natural life instead of being here with me and Camp Jupiter or Camp Half-blood.” Hazel put her fists on her hips and had a sharp frown on her face. Her whole body radiated her opinion. I glanced at Percy and found his expression much the same.

“No.”

Outrage. Insult. Hope. I settled for insulted. “You two can’t make me not live where I want to.” It came out colder and angrier then I’d meant it. They turned on me with twin expressions.

“I can’t visit you in the Underworld, Nico. You’ll miss out on everything! We’ve got a chance to live in a new world here. Our parents, the other demigods, we’re all finally okay with each other and you just want to leave?” Percy somehow spoke before Hazel, whose mouth was still slightly open with her own reproach to my statement. His eyes were heated in a way I hadn’t had seen since I surprised him in the underworld and ended up pinned beneath his sword, Riptide.

“You could always Iris message me, Hazel does it all the time.” The words left ash in my mouth.

“Iris messages aren’t the same. There are some things you just have to be here for Nico. I want to keep my brother here, in my life.” Unnamed emotion stifled her voice. If there were any treasure beneath the stationary Argo II it would be on the surface.

I tried to back away, feeling cornered. Percy noticed and moved to the side. How on Earth was he noticing little queues like that? I must be showing a lot more on my face then I mean to. Hazel moved to grab my hand like it was the only way to realize her wish.

Since she had control over the mist maybe it was. I felt as though I could not shadow travel as long as she was holding onto me. Percy cleared his throat and decided then he should tell Hazel that Frank was wondering when she’d come down before he came up. She scowled but as soon as he caught her eye she let go of me. I’d almost left as soon as she did. But Percy turned his sea green eyes on me and kept me rooted.

“We’re not done Nico.” She went back down below and the party happily welcomed her back.

It was hard to think when he was staring at me. Through the rough, stuttering beat of my heart I could barely breathe. I waited for Percy to speak, but he just stared intently at me. Like he was trying to do what my sister was—learn all my secrets just with his eyes. The panic from before cocooned itself around me and harshly whispered my fears until they echoed cacophonously from the corners of my mind.

“Don’t disappear Nico.” That was all he said. I couldn’t see, but I felt warmth. My first reaction was to jerk away. But he just gripped me tighter and I swear on the river Styx he growled.

“Let me go!” It was less demanding, the panic made me sound weak. “Percy!”

He kept his grip on me. “No, Nico. I want to talk to you. You’ll leave if I don’t do this. Don’t pretend. You nearly disappeared as soon as Hazel let you go.” I didn’t know it, but I was shaking. Shaking like a drug addict shakes during withdrawals.

I don’t know how long he waited to continue.

“You may not believe me, but I want you to stick around. We’re friends aren’t we?” I swallowed the bitterness down. He must have taken that as a bad sign. He moved away a little so he could look me in the eye. “Aren’t we?”

“Yes.” I was breathless. He was so close. Invading my personal space. I should hit him.

“Then be here Nico.” He had a thoughtful frown. “I—“

“You need to talk to me about the pit don’t you?” His breath caught and it was his turn to swallow something bitter. “Don’t you have Annabeth for that?”

If looks from mere demigods could turn people into stone. Perhaps he learned a thing or two from Medusa before he lopped off her head.

“I almost died while we were down there. I saw what Tartarus was really like, underneath the mist. I became something darker then I could handle from that one glimpse. Didn’t you see it like that, the entire time you were there?” Harsh breaths, tense grips on my arms. I wrenched free from him and retaliated.

He caught my fist, damned ADHD-demigod-reflexed jackass.

“Annabeth can’t understand that, she didn’t see it. You are the only one who can understand Nico. Don’t leave. I can’t keep not dealing with this. I don’t see how you can either.” This damned man, how can he be so defeated? He drops my fist and I sigh.

“When did I say that I was leaving anyways?” my voice is a reassuring grumble. He almost looked like he could kiss me.

I’m a good liar like that.


	2. Lasciare – abandon, let go, leave.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living the dream, or so Percy thought. Dreams do have a way of changing into nightmares when left without proper nutrition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes. I don't own, I just like to play with other peoples toys.

The buildings never did cease to amaze according to the wide, grey eyes. Her hand was warm in his while they took a romantic stroll through Camp Jupiter. The whitewashed splendor of Camp Jupiter had a nice effect on Annabeth’s whole demeanor. Her body was as ready to fall into action as it always was with her sure steps and the graceful way she had. Here it was as though she couldn’t get enough of the environment through her five senses.

After all the stress and crazy their lives had put them through it amazed him that Annabeth was still so passionate about the things she loved.

He could and couldn’t say the same for himself. After having to fight to survive. To spend his every waking hour in full-tilt toward the destinies that tried to bind him to all manner of horrible fates. This idea of going to college with Annabeth and making a family seemed more like a dream. A wonderful dream, to be sure.

They had made a promise together to the giant Damasen and the Titan renamed Bob. The best giant and Titan to ever live. Annabeth pointed out a structure that she liked, and she said something about wanting to put something similar up in Olympus.

The longer that Percy thought about it the more unreal it seemed. He and Annabeth had been granted the option to take sanctuary in the valley despite not having served the legion for ten years. Something about saving the world twice and encouraging the peace between the two historically at odds camps swayed that decision. Mostly their living in the valley was to test the waters for other members of Camp Half-Blood. Percy was just happy for the chance at their shared happy ending. Annabeth was probably saying something he should be paying attention to.

“Seaweed brain, are you even listening?” Annabeth’s grip on his hand tightened. “No, of course not.” Percy gave an apologetic smile and started to say something awkward.

“It’s okay.” She leaned in to kiss him, and he leaned in to kiss her back. “I was just thinking we should go eat somewhere. You probably want a cheeseburger?”

He grinned. “Absolutely! But you’d probably prefer something more, I don’t know, grown-up?”

“Italian, Thai, Chinese take-out, pizza… Anything is good Percy.” The sunlight made her hair look like spun gold. She had her body aimed towards him, her old Camp Half-Blood tee-shirt had been replaced by a plaid button-up.

“Then we should go get all of it.”

* * *

 

The couple ended up stopping in a random shop that was much too mouth-watering to ignore. Annabeth chose a street side table and they waited for their order. Sipping the iced tea the waiter brought just a couple minutes before Annabeth smiled across the table. The blue soda he drank tasted cool and sweet, but there was an aftertaste of fire.

Percy missed the sparkle that her eyes had when they were fighting for their lives. He had wanted to keep his place in the legion. But when the couple was offered a chance to live their lives together without needing to fight the overwhelming joy on Annabeth’s face stopped him cold. There was no arguing the future, it was with Annabeth.

What she wanted was something simple, so she—they could turn it into something grand. An exchange program for the demigods, to take a break from life on the edge. To experience a freefall life for the Roman demigods, and to experience the Roman society for the Greek demigods.

“I really wish we had some classes together. Even a psychology 101 would have been fun.” If he had been perfectly honest with himself he would have admitted that he wasn’t interested in going to college at all.

“Yeah, but I want to take classes I’m interested in. Writing core was my calling. I think I bring an interesting voice to the world.” My voice trailed off and the waiter finally came with my gyro and Annabeth’s chicken pita.

“There isn’t much between architecture and writing… But they’re not that different either. Our Bachelor’s core requirements should have had something that we could have taken together.” She slowly helped herself to her pita. Most of my gyro made it into my mouth. The mice would be eating well on the streets of Camp Jupiter tonight. Her laugh made my exaggerated bad table manners worth it.

* * *

 

Later on when they got home they went to their respective rooms. Annabeth wasn’t ready to share a bedroom with him. That had some serious sting to it, but Percy was okay with that. At night there was a creeping sensation in Percy’s soul. It was living in the darkness that overcame the house in the dead of night. Poisonous thoughts sent barbs into his mind, made him believe that he was back _there_.

Feeling useless. Hating the horrible people in the world. The squabbles between gods. None of his problems before Tartarus felt like they mattered any more.

None of the happiness since Tartarus felt like it mattered any more in the dark. Here only the memories of that place existed. What he did there, when he controlled the poison within the body of Tartarus, raced through his mind. The possibilities of what he could do here, on Earth. Just as suddenly as the thought comes he’s violently nauseous. Percy’s body jerks so his head hangs over the side of his bed while he tries his damnedest to not lose his gyro.

The tiny hairs all over his body are standing on end. His breath sounds harsh to his ears.

_I should be dead._

The truth he knew all the way to his toes. The only one who could understand had pushed him away. When Hazel and Piper concocted a plan to get everyone together again on the Argo II, a celebratory reunion of the people who made the journey on the ship to fulfill the Prophecy of Seven. That included a special person in Percy’s life. An under-appreciated friend. Nico di Angelo.

It was at night that he felt that absence the most. When his nightmares invaded his reality. Desperately he created his own rainbow with artificial light and tried to Iris message Nico. Fleecy told him that he could not be connected. Like the time when he’d lost his memories.

Understanding rendered Percy immobile. _Nico lied._

If it were possible being unable to contact Nico stung more than his nightmares did. Those kept him up at night. Terror made him question the path his life was taking. Nico was the only person he wanted to talk to about all of this. He didn’t want to tell Grover even though he could feel the turmoil churning through Percy through their empathy link.

Words held a certain power over things. Once you spoke them aloud the power they had changed drastically depending on who they were directed towards.

Annabeth’s fear of him kept him back then from sharing these things with her. If she looked at him the way she did in Tartarus it would break him all over again. Would she even want him if he told her about the nightmares? Probably, she is a pretty amazing woman. The real reason he couldn’t share them with her, well, he couldn’t say. Not even to himself. Not while his demons ate him alive.

_I can’t live like this, how does Nico do this by himself? Where the fuck did he go? Where can Iris messages not reach?_

Mentally Percy counted down the list.

_Alaska, the Mediterranean, possibly the Labyrinth… No fucking way Nico would go back to Tartarus…_

ADHD had him on his feet with Riptide uncapped in the living room before he even registered the loud pounding on the apartment door. Annabeth appeared in the door to her bedroom with her knife in hand, dressed in a gauzy negligée. Through the door burst Hazel Levesque. Her hair was even more wild than usual.

“Nico won’t answer! Pluto, that pile of shist, won’t answer! I can’t feel my connection to the underworld, Percy! I can’t find him.” Blubbering didn’t look good on anyone. Much less on a girl like Hazel, at the ripe age of sixteen. Through her dark skin you could see the red tint. There was snot. Tears. She crashed into him and hid the mess from Annabeth.

“What do you mean, you can’t find Nico?” The voice commanded attention.

Hazel’s shoulders shook. I wrapped my arms around the crying girl and awkwardly rubbed her back. Luckily she pulled away and turned to Annabeth—after discreetly wiping the tears and snot away on her sleeve. I’ve never been good with crying people.

“I could always find him before—but since the party he’s nowhere to be found. Iris can’t get to him. I can’t get a message through the mist. I can’t use the mist to make a soul explain. I even tried the augur and the oracle back at Camp Half-Blood. I can’t reach him.” She was back to trembling and tears she probably couldn’t even feel streamed freely down her face. Annabeth was much better at comforting Hazel. They moved to the couch, sat with their knees touching.

Annabeth was letting Hazel cry on her shoulder. After gently grilling her for more details—hearing for the first time Nico’s plan to leave. She jerked her head in Percy’s direction, and saw his pained expression for the confirmation that it was.

“Then you’ll just have to go and get him.” She said it like it was that simple.

Hazel’s golden eyes were still soaked in tears.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be traveling into the underworld… But I need him.” A voice so meek surely did not come from Hazel.

“I’ll help you find him.” The so-called quest I wanted in on, and desperately did not want in on. “Between you and me, I think we can do it.”


	3. Scissione – division, resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we gotta see from Hazel, because I love her to peices.

My brother was one of the most important people in the world. The others being the man I loved, and the man who became our family. Everyone else from the Prophecy of Seven carved their special places too—but I had a lot of room in my heart for those three.

Nico would always be special, he was my brother. My shares-a-stupid-father-who-really-needs-to-be-smaked-with-an-absentee-daddy-award brother. We had a rough start. Between him bringing me back from the dead and obviously wishing it could have been his other sister and me being accepted into the Roman camp. In the true form of family we just couldn’t stay away.

Let me rephrase that. I just couldn’t stay away. Nico seems to have no problem isolating himself. Especially after the whole subduing a slumbering goddess who is the world we live on. Underneath, afterwards, if we make it to the other side of the river after our inevitable deaths. Not that Nico ever needed to die to go there, it was practically his home these days.

Between Arion, the Legion, and Frank I hadn’t been giving my brother enough thought. Being the girlfriend of anyone should not be something that I let get to my head. Having an amazing friend who is the fastest thing on the planet is rightfully distracting though. I decided that I must get everyone back together, three years into the aftermath of that harrowing prophecy. It was a miracle we all survived. It was worth celebrating.

“I’ve got to get a hold of Piper.” The urgency of my voice startled me. “Frank! I need leave time approved to go to Camp Half-Blood on a purely personal level!” I was eating lunch with the fifth legion when I was overcome by the need to party-plan. Everyone at the table stared at me like I just announced that I was a fire-breathing dragon. I hoped that my cocoa colored skin was dark enough to hide my blush. The fifth cohort chortled with laughter—although from Dakota it sounded more like he was choking on his Kool-Aid.

“That’s not how you’re supposed to ask for leave time Hazel…” Frank was blushing alongside her.

“I have to go, now, I’m sorry.” Hazel kissed him into a stunned silence and left.

The laughter died away and they all entire Fifth cohort watched Hazel stalk out like she had something life-changing to do. This party was going to bring Nico back to the world of the living. The Romans and Greeks have accepted her, a daughter of Pluto. They sure didn’t hate the son of Hates. He had to come home. A gold nugget appeared in her wake.

“Arion! Please come, I need to go to Camp Half-Blood.” She called out sweetly, plucking the gold from the ground. She could almost sense it when he came. It was like a whirlwind, sudden and surprising. Arion whinnied and nudged her palm as if to say snack first, ride second! Her hand opened and revealed his favorite food.

It was gone as soon as it was exposed. This elicited a girlish giggle from the normally composed teen. She quickly mounted Arion and he reared playfully.

“Run, Arion. Camp Half-Blood.”

Even though it was on the other side of the continental United States they made it there within a couple of hours. Arion is truly the greatest horse ever to walk the Earth. Once she made it into camp she dismounted and went straight to the Big House. Her goal, Piper McLean. It wasn’t meal-time anymore but Hazel was using her metal-detecting skills to hone in on Piper’s blade—Katoptris. That ominous little thing used to belong to Helen of Troy. It showed Piper visions of the future. The future was never particularly bright.

It was almost as though she was still on Arion, with how quickly she came upon Piper.

“Piper! I need your help!” The older Cherokee girl looked up from her papers spread out on the Aphrodite cabin’s table. “I need to throw a party.”

A dark eyebrow raised in disbelief. It only went higher as the younger girl with the mad gleam in her golden eyes rambled on about her master plan. Eventually the madness caught fire in the older girls eyes too. The sky darkened as the two girls cooked their plot to bring a certain someone back into his sister’s life.

 

Hindsight is twenty-twenty, as they say. Whoever this they person is, they’re very annoying. It was a perfect plan! Get her brother out of the Underworld, expose him to the greatness that was life with friends, and inspire him to stay.

But the plan backfired. He withdrew even further after he got there, he couldn’t even manage to eat half his pomegranate. She’d thought the plan was salvaged by her newest family member until her brother went back to that damned place. He hasn’t been answering Iris messages. The mist couldn’t reach him. She couldn’t even get a spirit to talk, nor the augur, much less the oracle.

There was something undeniably wrong about that.

Nico wouldn’t outright ignore her like this. Pluto she could understand, he’d been ignoring her for the majority of her life, death, and second life. The mist wasn’t answering the way she’d come to expect it to. The earth beneath her was turning itself into a diamond studded reflection of the night sky.

She didn’t care that it was the middle of the night. It was worse than going to Alaska. Petrifying as reliving her first death. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she had to go to him. Hazel’s body rebelled against the thought of returning to the underworld. It remembered being dead.

Percy, she had to go see Percy. Percy had been to the Underworld at least three times before. He could help. She threw a pair of jeans on and raced out the door. The lump that had been lodged in the back of her throat escaped. It transformed into great, heaving sobs. She knew she must be a frightful mess, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Percy. Percy could help.

The world was a blur. The front door an easily removed obstacle. Percy. Hazel knew she must be blubbering, but she couldn’t stop. Nico was gone. Not his usual gone. I can’t reach him, gone. I must have been hysterical, how embarrassing. Thank the gods for Annabeth, she snapped me out of it. Percy didn’t seem to mind my mess. I cleaned my face best I could before I turned to her.

Then I explained, because she was Annabeth. She steered me onto the couch and let me cry in the least embarrassing way possible. After rushing here all my energy was draining with my words. When I finished I felt empty. Lost.

“Then you’ll just have to go get him.” The words were simple enough, but the task entailed was terrifying. I’d already been to the Underworld. I haven’t tried to return since my second life. I was afraid. This life was something I wanted to cherish. It was in this life that I made up for the mistakes I made.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be traveling into the underworld… But I need him.” Grey eyes pierced me and found me worthy. I felt emboldened. Even if this somehow ended badly this had to be the right way. Then I heard Percy throw in his two cents, and saw firsthand the change in the woman I looked up to. Steely fear and shock hardened into a sub-zero gray gaze. I leaned away from Annabeth and looked to Percy.

“Are you sure? You might not come back Percy. I doubt I’ll make it back. Even if I do find him.” I was trying to verbalize what I’d just seen in Annabeth’s eyes as well as my own fears. It seemed to work, because Percy looked at Annabeth then and saw it too. She desperately did not want him to leave and was prepared to let him go.

“I can’t just let you go alone.” Annabeth looked colder and colder still. I knew she would not be coming. She had her life already sorted out. It did not involve any more quests. It did not involve trips to the underworld before she died. “It’s not like I haven’t made it back from the underworld before.”

His reassurance did nothing to warm his girlfriend. I’d thought I was done crying for the night, but his absolute willingness to help made me do it again. I flung my arms around them both and crushed them to me. They returned my embrace awkwardly and I broke away. This level of emotionalism was hard to handle. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

“Then we need to figure out how to get there without being noticed. I have a theory about my powers over the mist and the underground tunnels but without an exit strategy that would be useless.” Percy looked a little queasy.

“We could try for some more of Persephone’s pearls.” Annabeth wrinkled her nose at the suggestion. I couldn’t imagine using my step-mother’s exit strategy for her special visitors during her six-month stay in the underworld either. Percy held up his hands in surrender. “Nico might be able to shadow-travel us out. Or my dog, Mrs. O’Leary. She’d be wiped out afterwards though.”

Mrs. O’Leary was an awesome dog, she was just as big as Camp Jupiter’s elephant, Hannibal. Hellhounds often have an impressive size. Nevertheless they enjoyed playing together. Hazel hadn’t seen Mrs. O’Leary for a dogs age.

“You only have Nico’s last conversation as a hint that he’s even in the underworld. What if you make it there and he’s not home to be rescued from himself?” Annabeth’s voice had no inflection.

“Nico said he was going to live there and not come back.” Absolute certainty. “He’s cut himself off. Fleecy said she couldn’t do a live feed.”

Percy looked restless standing by himself. He uncapped and recapped Riptide. It should have sounded annoying—like when someone clicks their retractable pen. It just made me sleepy to hear the nearly imperceptible sound. Everyone notices the effect when your mouth opened as wide as a lions in a yawn that brings tears to your eyes.

Exhausted. Percy and Annabeth both told me to stay over tonight. I think I protested. They talked among themselves and seemed to come to a decision. Percy was leading me to his room. Annabeth came and quickly swiped a dark blue comforter off of the bed before replacing it with another just like it.  He took a pillow and stalked right back out of the room. Annabeth guided me into the bed and I fell asleep instantly.  
I wish I could say I didn’t dream. Demigod dreams are usually nightmares. The darkness wasn’t oppressive or malicious as it usually is in a nightmare. It was more of a cocoon. My eyes wouldn't open but I could sense that there was nothing here in this unlit room. Nothing but me, although I was not myself. Trying to look around was a moot point. Thinking was arduous. There was nothing but sleep, dark, and safe.

It felt like a coffin.

I woke up.


	4. Cadare – tumble, crash, fall to pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, this was supposed to be chapter two.

Following that form back into the party wasn’t something I could regret. My pomegranate was half-eaten by the end of it. It was left it aboard the Argo II for whoever cleans the ship to deal with. Leo, the self-proclaimed entertainment master, bounced out of his seat and used his whole body to usher everyone outside.

“People, people! Move along! Gotta get to the deck for my patent-pending Leo Finale!” Everyone looked surprised with the exception of Piper McLean. It appeared as though their friendship was as strong as ever. Slowly my body rose from its seat and followed the herd to the deck. Hazel firmly wrapped her arms around Frank and me.

“Prepare to be amazed!” With a gesture reminiscent of a ringmaster Leo pressed a few buttons on his Wii remote and connected nunchuk. There was a collective gasp as we looked towards the sky. Calling it a firework display would be insulting. The explosions of multicolored light weren’t simply coordinated, they were directed into a fiery illustration of the memories the eight people on board shared of their adventures.

Boom, crackle, hiss. The sky showed the image of Festus as he was before he became a figurehead. Then the Argo II with Jason, Piper, Annabeth, Coach Hedge, and Leo himself onboard.

Boom, boom. The golden giant and an elephant. This one was followed by Hazel riding bareback on her friend, Arion. They were poised as though they were going very, very fast.

Boom, hiss. I narrowed my eyes as I recognized this one. A stage with two of the shortest and most strangely dressed giants. Leo had kindly not included the jar in this image. Hazel squeezed my captured arm when she saw this one.

The Athena Pantheon, Arachne, Annabeth and Percy falling. Highlights up until their cast of seven were finally finished, happy smiles across their faces. My stomach was knotted and my arm was a little numb although the show couldn’t have lasted longer than fifteen minutes.

Leo was quickly squished and smacked by Jason. “That was awesome, Leo!”

 “Hey man, easy on the master.” He rubbed his shoulder as though it might have really hurt. Exaggeration, probably.

Piper and Annabeth both hugged him. Everyone was staying the night in their old cabins—separately despite the lack of adult supervision. Being heroes one would think that they’d be taking their liberties. Wouldn’t have expected it from anyone but Jason and Hazel to be so personally strict. It was effortless to fall back into the shadows and reappear in my room in the Underworld.

That was not complete and shameless avoidance of my sister. It was honest exhaustion.

 

 

At some point my shoes were removed and somehow that blanket on the cot I called a bed wrapped itself around me. Or so my eyes told me, making heads or tails of it was just annoying. It was doubtful that Persephone or Hades came to my room and tucked me in. It must have been myself, there was no other explanation. _Attending functions is much too taxing when it’s all about personal connections and not an integral part of saving the damned world or special people’s asses_!

Scowling at no one in particular I twisted a fist in the blanket and whipped it away. The Underworld wasn’t cold or warm. The blanket was just a nuisance. Earthen floor met bare feet. Maybe if I was a younger boy the feeling wouldn’t be so unsettling.

Quickly getting dressed and leaving my room I sought out my post, judging souls with the others. Being alive and all most souls didn’t enjoy being judged by me. Unless they were souls that frankly I would be better off not judging. When the tingly sensation of a demigod dying rippled through my senses I preferred to be there for them. Just in case they had something that they needed before they moved on.

They only ever ask when they believe that they need to do it.

Today, or tonight—hard to tell accurately underground, I felt the sensation the soul of demigod approaching judgment. That demigod was an acquaintance and he felt compelled to mention something.  Why he had been so standoffish in life.

“Nico di Angelo.” Like most of the newly dead his voice had no inflection. He went on to tell me things I didn’t want to hear. I was at my part-time job though so running was out of the question. He said things like how he avoided me, even after considering me a hero during the Titan war. Like Nico blurred the line between life and death with his existence alone. The son of Hades, a cursed boy.

“I’m sorry Nico, that’s all.” He went on to his afterlife—I didn’t judge him in any way that wasn’t fair. Death should be fair.

When “work” was over I felt less alive and more awake than ever. Talking with dead demigods almost always left a weird taste in the back of my throat. Problems feel like itches on that special part of your back that you can’t reach. There was still that pressing matter of my sibling and old friend not taking well to my withdrawal to the Underworld.

Face set into a scowl I turned toward the rare portions of the Underworld I had yet to explore. There should be more to the place my father ruled then what could be covered in a few short years of youthful exploration. Now I had all the damned time in the world, no more wars to keep me otherwise occupied with suicidal missions—no aftermath that kept me on my toes.

I’d explored the underworld that everyone on this side of the drachma already knew, the part people read about in the stories. But if a Roman and a Greek version of this place exists maybe there was more to reality than I’d been lead to believe? When I leave the borders of this paradigm who knows where I’ll end up?

At least it won’t be here. Here with the heartening and depressing fact that Percy is… happy, somewhere I’ll never be. That Hazel can and surely will thrive without her creepy brother skulking around.

_Good bye, Hazel, I won’t be coming home._


End file.
